Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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