Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
