i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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