See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
