You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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