sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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