Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
my liver is dry heaving
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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