am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
