Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
