no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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