Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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