The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
