I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
