Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize