Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
