try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
