Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
