I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
