sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
