there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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