Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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