forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
