Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
