A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
