I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
