when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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