we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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