You really coming over, don't trick.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
