I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
