dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
