i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
