I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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