guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
