Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Two words: blizzard sex
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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