She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
