There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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