when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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