he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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