This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I AM VODKA MAN
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
