so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
