Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
should my penis look like a turkey
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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