she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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