like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
