her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
