Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
