I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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