there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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