We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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