im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
