To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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