i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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