I wannas sexs uuuuu
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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