You're so nebulous sometimes
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
