I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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