Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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