I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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