After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
did you just send me my own nude
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
