Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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