dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
