now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
