he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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