remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
