Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
