mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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