I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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